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TMI
She kept dropping her magazines and apologizing. As the plane took off, I realized that I was seated next to a highly intoxicated middle aged women. A bombed broad, if you will. I never got her name, but boy, did I get her story. She lives in Palm Springs, sandwiched in between big homes with…
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Something smells fishy
No, I wasn’t high. So what if I bought a four foot long stuffed Marlin pillow? It really did look cool on the web site, but when I took it out of the box, well here’s what happened: It was around 7:30 pm when the doorbell rang. “Don’t answer the door, it’s probably Jehovah’s Witnesses,’ I yelled.…
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What a croc of
I wonder about some people’s fashion choices. The capital offense, Croc shoes. I’ve noticed that even celebraties embrace their right to parade around in the whimsical clogs. Take top chef Mario Batali, a man who could have diamonds on the soles of his shoes. To my dismay, he favors sporting Crocs, the fruit colored foot gear. Maybe…
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Bro-tox
I drink a lot of water, and it’s not because I think it’s refreshing. Water is about as close to the fountain of youth as I’m going to get. I take care of my skin and regularly bury my face in a wet towel, that I steam in the spaghetti stained microwave. (Great for a hangover!) I…
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Maddollz!
My sophisticated friend Moni, may be all grown up, but this hasn’t stopped her from playing with dolls. Monica Tolczyk, a highly regarded packaging designer and partner of Mint design firm has a side gig that’s worth a glance! Moni creates custom Barbie type dolls, housed inside a real package that’s accessorized with all sorts of goodies. The doll is…
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Scary shit.
I was watching a scary movie alone on Saturday night when a real terrifying experience happened at home. No, the phone didn’t ring with some creep on the line saying,”Hey hottie, I’m watching you get drunk and scratch your butt.” A zombie didn’t knock on my door and ask for sugar. And I didn’t doze…
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It’s mine!
Gangs of trixie bitches charged into Target stores with fangs out and oversized bags to bang on the heads, Ruth Buzzie style, of anyone that dare get in their way. The lucky whores who scored Missoni looked stoned, with frozen smile faces, sweaty brows, and a hyperventilated sense of success. Mobs of Botoxed brats who…
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You’re too skinny and it’s grossing me out
At first I thought Vogue Italia was kidding…their cover must have been a joke. I took a peak at the Avant-Garde September 2011 issue with cover model, Stella Tennant striking an eerie cold pose. Tennant appears to be freakishly styled in an old pilgrims funeral outfit, decorated with savage body piercings and holding a pair of scissors. Stella wore her…